AleXander
by sarkywoman
Summary: Spike knew Xander in a past life, and he can't let go. Slash.


Alex Series

Part one - AleXander

"Spike, could you come over here for a second?"

Spike sighed and headed over to Giles. "What is it Watcher?"

"I've been reading up further on the Watcher's diaries for Buffy and there's something I want you to tell me about."

"If it's about the two Slayers I killed, I've already told your Slayer about that." Spike didn't like to talk about the night Buffy had said she was beneath him.

"No. I want you to tell me about Alex."

Spike's face shut down completely, not showing any emotion whatsoever. "Alex." It was almost a whisper.

"Yes. If it's not too much bother, that is."

"Why do you want to know?"

"I'm curious."

Spike thought about it. "I guess I could tell you. But it doesn't get out of this room, or my reputation as the Big Bad is ruined."

"Of course."

"Right. Where to begin? I guess I first met him when I was out hunting on an average night..."

William the Bloody made his way through the streets of London, looking for lunch. Angelus never understood why he hunted in the run-down areas of town. Spike knew why he did it. It was so that he could feel the despair pouring off of every one of the working class who lived in the slums. They were scared and depressed. It made him feel superior.

Then he saw something. A fight.

He wouldn't normally have intervened, but there was no entertainment when it was so one-sided. An older man was basically kicking the shit out of a lad, who was hunched over on the damp cobbles. Spike ripped into the older guy's throat and drank. He tasted of cheap alcohol, Spike hadn't expected any different. Most of the violence around these parts was down to cheap booze.

Spike looked at the boy on the floor, still huddled with his head between his knees. He might taste nicer. He tapped the boy's shoulder. "Hey, he's gone now."

When the boy looked up, Spike could barely speak. The lad was beautiful, even with tears streaming down his face. He had large, dark, brown eyes, which were the same colour as his hair. His breathing was ragged as he sobbed, but he didn't take his dark eyes off of Spike's blue ones.

Spike held out a hand to help him up. "Are you alright?"

"Yes sir, thank you." His voice was quiet.

Spike gently pushed his hair out of his face. "You don't have to call me sir, I'm as common as muck. What's your name?"

"Alex. Alexander."

"Mine's Spike."

Alex raised his eyebrows. "That's unusual."

"It's my nickname. Why was that guy beating you up?"

"I lost my job at the factory."

"Why was that any of his business?"

"He's my father. He relied on my income."

"Not any more he doesn't."

"You killed him?"

"Yeah. Did you not want me to?"

"I don't...I can't..." Alex struggled with the concept of wanting his own father dead.

"Ssh, I understand," said Spike, trying to calm the boy down for a reason that was unknown to him.

"You do?" Alex said hopefully.

"Yeah. Listen, with your dad..." he struggled to find the right word, "...gone, you'll need a place to stay. I know somewhere..."

Alex looked up at him with big brown eyes. "Why are you being so kind to me?"

"Dunno. I'm a sucker for brunettes."

To Spike's delight, Alex smiled shyly. "Okay, I'll go with you."

Spike guided him to the small hotel room he stayed in when he didn't feel like hanging around with Angelus, Darla and Dru. Angelus paid for it, saying he didn't want Spike around all the time either. Spike knew that was a lie though, because his foster Sire was always calling for him. He was his favourite Childe and had certain 'duties' to his Sire. He heard Alex gasp beside him. "Is it alright pet?"

"I can't stay here!" Alex couldn't believe the generous offer being made to him by a man he had only just met. He was not accustomed to generosity.

"Why not?"

"I'm not supposed to! I don't have any money or status..."

"Ssh, you're with me."

"This is the nicest place I've ever been." Alex was used to sleeping in the corner of an alleyway under his coat.

"It is? I'll have to take you to the mansion some time." Although as he said this Spike knew he could never take this boy there if he wanted them both to stay alive, or undead, for that matter.

"We can't...you know..."

"No?"

"No. I'm not good enough for you. I..."

Spike silenced him with a kiss. "You're good enough."

He gently pressed Alex onto the bed and began to unbutton his shirt. He didn't break their lip contact, not wanting Alex to reconsider what he was doing for one moment.

He did anyway. "But you're a man!" Alex cried out. What would everyone say if they found out he was performing acts of Satan?

"Haven't you heard of people doing it?"

"I'll be chucked out of society!"

"And?"

"Good point," Alex said, as he realised that society had never done anything for him.

They resumed the kissing and groping, and as the night went on, Spike fell in love.

"And that was that. I was head over heels for this lad. He was so beautiful and sweet and innocent that I could barely think when I was with him."

"What sort of reactions did you get from the others about your relationship?" Giles asked intrigued.

"Ah. Well at first they were curious about the new scent that was on me, but I told them I was just taking two pleasures from humans, feeding and fucking. They believed it for a while. Darla couldn't care less about my activities unless it was affecting her in some way, Dru was too nutty to notice, and Angelus bought all my excuses. That was, of course, until he realised that I was coming home every night with the _same _scent on me. No two humans smell the same you see."

Giles was intrigued. "Really?" he said.

"Well that and the fact that I screamed Alex's name while Angelus was fucking me. He was a bit pissed off..."

Spike felt the blow before he saw it. "Am I not good enough for you now, William?"

"You are Angelus!"

"You have to get your pleasures elsewhere?"

"You pleasure me!" Spike said, although now that he had Alex, it wasn't strictly true. But right now he'd do anything (apart from let any harm come to Alex) to calm Angelus' rage.

"From some mortal boy called Alex! You let him fuck you!"

"I don't, it's just better to think of him!" Spike hadn't even noticed he had said Alex's name. "And who said he was mortal?"

"I can smell him on you every night, Childe!" Angelus yelled as he booted Spike in the shin.

"You're not my Sire!"

Spike instantly regretted that comment as he felt his insides rearrange themselves when Angelus kicked him hard in the chest.

"I'm as close to a Sire as you'll ever get, boy!" He gestured to the doorway. "Do you really think Drusilla is going to save you! I'm your Sire by claimed right!"

"I'm sorry," tried Spike, trying desperately hard to stop the beating.

"What's your excuse for crying out his name, huh? If he's not better than me, what is it?"

"I love him." Spike said it quietly, knowing Angelus would be able to hear his words that he felt with all of his heart.

There was silence. Then Angelus burst into hysterics. "Love? Love? Vampires can't love! You are so stupid and delusional sometimes Spike! Does this boy love you?"

Spike nodded. "We love each other."

"Don't be damned stupid. Does he know you're a vampire?"

"Yeah."

"Then how can he possibly love you? You're evil! You kill! Do you honestly think that anybody can love a vampire? A minion of hell?"

"He said he does and he doesn't lie. He's truthful, honest, beautiful and caring. He's like an angel."

"Then how can you possibly think that you won't corrupt him?" Angelus asked, trying to find something to make his Childe see sense.

"I won't!" Spike shouted, standing up despite the protest from his battered limbs. "I love him and I would never hurt him or change him!" He stormed out of the room, trying not to collapse. "And just for your information, he is a better shag than you!" Spike said, making sure he got the last word in the argument.

He slammed the door and limped to the hotel that was now Alex's permanent residence. He made it up to their room with only a few strange looks, and banged on the door. Then he blacked out.

"Were your injuries really that bad?" said Giles.

"I'm not a sissy, I don't black out for nothing," Spike said, feeling quite offended.

"I was just wondering how strong Angelus was," said Giles defending his question.

"Very. Especially when he was angry. He could torture all night long. So anyway..."

When Spike came round, the first thing he saw was Alex. He smiled drowsily. "My Alex."

Alex looked up at him and smiled in relief. "Thank Lord. I was so scared, I don't know how to treat wounds on a vampire, and I couldn't check for a pulse, I didn't know if you were going to get even deader or not." Alex stopped and tried to take deep breaths to stop himself from having a panic attack. Not that panic attacks were known of in that day and age, but it was a known fact that panicking could kill you.

Spike sighed and sat up to comfort his lover who was narrowly avoiding a mental breakdown. "Hush pet, it's alright. I'm alright, you're alright, and we're alright. Everything's alright."

Alex tried to hide his tears. "I know, but you are all I have. If I lost you..." He went back to sobbing.

"Ssh, I'm not planning on leaving you any time soon. That's why we both need to leave London."

Alex was so shocked he stopped crying. "Leave London? Why?"

"My Sire, Angelus. Remember I told you about him?" Alex nodded. "Well he's found out about you and he is not a happy vampire."

"Did he do this to you?" Alex was furious at this vampire who thought he could waltz in and injure his lover.

"Yeah, when he found out. He's jealous of you because he knows we're in love. That's why we have to leave. I can stand the beatings, but you humans are fragile and I don't want you hurt." Spike willed Alex to agree with him straight away. They couldn't waste time arguing about something so trivial when there were much larger problems at hand. Spike wouldn't allow any harm to come to the delicate young mortal he was madly in love with.

"I don't know..." Alex did not want to leave the place he had lived in all his life just like that. He was not a fan of drastic change.

"Do you love me?" Spike pulled out the winning card.

"Of course! How could you ask..."

"Cos this is the only way we're going to be together! You have to pack your things now!" Spike grabbed his hand tightly for emphasis. "We don't have much time."

Alex sighed. "Okay. Where are we going?"

"Anywhere but here! Pack your bags and we'll leave in the morning. Say goodbye to any friends you have made, we won't be coming back while my Sire's here. That could be a long time. I'll head home and pack my stuff, say goodbye to Dru and good riddance to Darla, try to avoid Angelus, and I'll come by in the morning before dawn."

"How will we travel? We can't walk in the daylight, you would burn."

"I'll nick some money, God knows there's enough laying around at the mansion. We can go by coach as far as it can take us then we'll play it by ear."

Alex kissed him passionately. "Be careful."

"I will."

"Did you leave London?" Giles asked, becoming more interested in the story with each word.

"Give me a break Watcher, I'm getting there. I went back to the house, right..."

Spike crept through the corridors. He saw Dru. "Hi luv."

"Spike has been naughty, daddy's gone to make it better."

"Right. If I knew what that meant..."

"She meant that Angelus has gone to kill your precious little mortal," said Darla's lazy voice behind him.

Spike's brain stopped completely as he spun around to see Darla smiling smugly. Darla had never liked him. She had always thought Spike too cocky, too arrogant. "What? When?"

"He left about an hour ago. I daresay he'll be there by now."

"No!"

"I'm afraid so."

"He can't!" Spike ran out of the house at a speed world champion runners would have been proud of. He headed to the hotel room he and Alex shared, knowing that Angelus would have gone straight there.

He burst through the door to their room and stopped deadly still. Angelus was standing over a beaten boy laying on the floor. The boy was barely breathing. Angelus sensed his childe and turned. He had Alex's blood staining his hands and mouth. "Well William, isn't he beautiful?" he said mockingly.

With that, he strode out of the door. Spike could do nothing but stare at his lover so close to death on the floor. Then he heard it. Only his vampiric hearing could pick up the choked, mumbled, 'Spike?' His heart broke in two and he started crying. He scrambled over to his Alex and pulled him onto his lap. "Hey baby, ssh, don't worry, I'm here. Spike's here, everything's gonna be alright."

Alex managed to open his eyes. He saw Spike and gave a weak smile. "Spike...love you..."

He trailed off again. Spike gently stroked his hair. "I love you Alex."

Alex tried to move and gave a small whimper. Spike held him tightly. "Shh, don't try to move, save your strength." Spike didn't want Alex to let go until he could fight death no longer.

Alex whimpered again. But this time he hadn't moved. Spike panicked. "What is it pet? Tell Spike."

"Want...Want kissies fro...from Spike," Alex mumbled, darkness already closing in.

Spike leant down and began placing gentle kisses all over Alex's face and neck while offering small words of love, comfort and reassurance. But they were only words.

"Did he survive?"

"No," Spike whispered painfully.

"He didn't?"

"No. His injuries were too severe."

"Why didn't you turn him?"

"Wouldn't have been able to. Angelus had drunk from him and made him bleed. He didn't have enough blood for me to even take a little. He died from blood loss. Angelus did it on purpose, I'm sure of it. He didn't want me happy, so he made sure we were rid of Alex once and for all."

Spike took a deep unneeded breath and Giles saw that this was difficult subject for Spike to talk about. "What about Angelus? Did you try to get revenge?"

"Well obviously I was angry..."

"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO US, YOU BASTARD?" Spike burst into the mansion. Angelus was going to pay for his brutality this time.

Angelus looked up from the book he was reading with an amused look on his face. "Hello Will..."

The punch Spike threw sent Angelus reeling to the floor.

"WHY? WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU?" Spike grabbed the stunned master vampire from the floor and pinned him to the wall with kicks. "WE WERE LEAVING ANYWAY! THERE WAS NO NEED TO KILL HIM!"

"I hated him and I wanted him dead. That's perfect reason to..." Angelus paused for a second "...William, put the stake down." Spike pressed it to Angelus' heart. "Come on, William. If you get rid of me, who will you have left? Come on now. You can't kill your Sire."

Spike dropped the stake. He knew it was true. He began to sob and he ran out of the room before his tears were seen. He sat on his bed and cried for the love he was unable to avenge.

"And I never did stake him. He tortured me later, but I still couldn't bring myself to do it. It just... I can't explain it."

"I had no idea."

"Well not even Dru or Darla knew the whole story. Not even Angelus knew what went on between me and my Alex. But then, I didn't exactly go into the graphic details with you, did I?"

"A fact for which I am most grateful. Thank you for telling me all this Spike, I know it couldn't have been easy for you."

"Don't mention it. I know I'll see my Alex again someday." Spike went into the front of the magic shop, his eyes on Xander. 'Maybe much sooner than you expected, Watcher.'

Xander shivered as he walked home. It was unusually chilly out tonight, perhaps he was just imagining it. Things had seemed darker since that morning, Anya had decided to leave the Hellmouth. She hadn't actually wanted to leave him; she had tried to convince him to go with her. But he wouldn't do that to his friends, even if they would do it to him. For all her years watching human behaviour, Anya was useless when it came to trust and loyalty. But then, when she was permanently on the lookout for deceit and treachery as a vengeance demon, she was unlikely to witness the stronger points of human nature.

He wandered across the road, trying to get home before he froze, when he bumped into someone. "Sorry...oh Spike. Hi."

"Hi pet. Walk you home?"

"You're only doing it to get in Buffy's good books, and yes we've all heard about that."

"Fine. Honestly, show a bit of courtesy..."

"Spike, you never show me courtesy. You never show anyone courtesy. That's why you're Spike."

"What's that supposed to mean, Alex?" Alex laughed as Spike spun him around and pressed him against the wall. "I can be very...courteous."

"Hmm, not quite what I meant, but nice anyway."

"Okay. You don't think I could be polite if I wanted to?"

"You're just not. I know you don't want to be, I'm just saying that's one of the appealing things about you. You're...rough. And bad. So very naughty...let's get home."

"What, right now?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Home is where the bed is."

"Good philosophy."

"Spike? Hello, Earth to Spike!"

"Sorry, you just sounded like someone I knew."

"Who?"

"Long story. They were a lot like you though. So...walk you home? Prevent you from getting chewed by demons?"

"I suppose so. If you want, I might have some blood bags at home."

"Yeah, thanks. I am a bit peckish."

Xander opened the door to his new apartment and went in. He was halfway across the room when Spike coughed politely. Xander turned around and saw that Spike was standing on the other side of the threshold. He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. I forgot that I hadn't invited you in yet." He gestured to the apartment. "I, Xander Harris, welcome you, Spike aka William the Bloody, to enter my home and... hey! You could've at least let me finish."

"Sorry, but I'm hungry and I had no idea of when you would finish your little speech. Nice speech though."

"I wasn't taking that long. And anyway, I was making it all formal-like."

"No need. A simple 'get in 'ere' would do."

"Oh. Giles doesn't usually go over the finer details of that sort of thing with us."

"Oh. He should, it could save your lives. I'd 'ave a word with him if I were you. Blood in the fridge, yeah?"

"Well yeah, I'm hardly likely to let you drink mine."

"Spike...oh Spike. Spiiikeee. Spike. Spike! SPIKE!"

Spike slipped his fangs out of Alex's neck, changed back to his human face and licked Alex's wound until there was no more blood leaking from it. Then he smiled at Alex's facial expression. "Was that alright, pet? I didn't take too much, did I?"

Alex shook his head weakly. "No. I just...I'm not sure we should do that again."

Spike frowned and looked at Alex. "Why not? I could've sworn you liked it. You made those noises I like. You know, the little moans..."

"Yeah, it was good. But that was just it, you see?"

"You're not gonna start with the moral shit about me being an evil vampire and that activity being too bad and erotic?" Spike was easily bored when it came to a lecture about morality and sin. Even if Alex had the nicest mouth and voice.

"No. I just...I think I would have let you take it all. Given myself over to you."

Spike stared at him in disbelief. "Really? You would have done that...for me?"

Alex nodded. "Yeah."

"That's...that's just...oh God I love you, Alex."

Spike began kissing him, but Alex pulled away. Spike gave him a questioning look. Alex sighed. "Maybe we should talk about this. I mean I've never felt like this before..."

"Neither have I pet."

"But I would have let you drain me."

"I wouldn't have drained you. That would leave you dead. I love you alive."

"I love you too Spike."

Spike jolted back to reality when Xander snapped his fingers in front of his face. "Huh?"

"What is up with you today?" Xander didn't believe he had ever seen Spike so out of it. He entertained the thought that the blonde vampire was on something.

"Nothing."

"Okay, you just keep spacing out."

"I'm feelin a bit off today actually."

"Aww, poor Spike. I'm gonna shower, see you in a minute."

"Spike?"

"Hmm?"

"We really do need to bathe."

"We do?"

"Yes. It's a drawback of spending twenty-four hours in bed together. The mess is almost unbearable."

"I guess you're right. Come on then." He picked up Alex and whisked him in front of the fire where the tub was. "I think that bath is big enough for two, don't you?"

"Now we just have to heat the water."

"We might as well get dirtier before bathing, or it won't be worth the hassle."

"Agreed."

Spike heard the shower stop running and stopped tripping down memory lane. He had to make some more memories. He started dipping his finger in the blood to eat it. Swirling it around before delicately sucking it off of his finger. He wasn't sure about what reaction he'd get; after all, it was blood. Spike didn't look up when Xander walked in, just carried on with what he was doing. He felt a pair of eyes on him and smiled. He looked up and saw Xander staring at him. Xander met his gaze. After a pause, Xander said, "don't get it on the sofa."

"No? This furniture needs a bit of colour." Spike decided that if he wasn't winning Xander over, he might as well start a conversation.

"If I thought so, I would go to a DIY store."

"What? They do blood red now?"

"I can't say I've ever checked."

"Yes, you do tend to go for the drab look, don't you luv?"

Spike looked over Alex again. "We need to get you some better clothes."

"I am quite fine with these, thanks."

"No, they're ugly."

"They are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not! What's wrong with them?"

"They're boring! You want some decent clothes, like mine."

"I don't think they would suit me."

"Why not?"

"They're so very...you."

"Thanks. I think."

"I just wouldn't look good in the rough, bad boy outfit. We have our roles to play. You're evil sexy vampire guy, I'm bumbling, dumb, mortal boy."

Spike frowned and pulled Alex to him and kissed him. When they pulled apart so that Alex could breathe, Spike said, "I don't think you're bumbling or dumb. You're cute, sweet, beautiful, caring, and mine."

Alex shivered ever so slightly. "Yours?" he whispered.

"Mine," said Spike.

"You're right, you are a bit off. You're zoning out all the time today."

"Tonight."

"Whenever." Xander wasn't particularly bothered by his choice of time; he had other things on his mind.

Spike sighed. "Xander?"

"Yeah?" said Xander cautiously. Spike hardly ever called him by his name so something must be going on.

"Do you believe in reincarnation?"

"Sorta."

Spike frowned. "What do you mean by 'sorta'?"

Xander thought for a minute before replying. "I think that you must get judged, then you choose whether you want to have another go, like in a computer game when you lose a life."

"What if you say no?"

"Then that judgement is what you gotta deal with, you go where it takes you." Seeing Spike's expression, Xander faltered. "But that's just what I think, it's a load of crap really."

Spike shook his head. "Sounds like a half-decent theory to me." He didn't want to hear Xander putting himself down. The Scooby Gang did that enough already.

"Whatever. But why were you asking?"

"I said I knew someone a lot like you, yeah?"

Xander saw where this was heading and said, "I don't think I knew you in a past life, Spike."

"No?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It would just be weird."

"You look the spitting image of him, pet."

"Really?"

"Really. You say the same sort of things, obviously with different accents."

"Why is it obvious we'd have different accents?"

"Oh, because I knew him in Victorian London."

"Did you know him well?"

"I was in love with him." Spike immediately regretted blurting that out, he didn't want to scare Xander away.

Xander stared at Spike in shock. "In love?"

"Yep. He said he loved me too, and we were as pleased as punch together."

"What happened to him?"

"Angelus found out about us and beat him to death."

"Harsh," Xander said after an uncomfortable pause. "What was his name?"

"Alex."

Xander digested this information. "But that's..."

"Yeah. When you think about it, it explains a lot."

"Like?"

"Your hatred of Angel. He, well Angelus, killed you in a past life. In fact, you can ask Angel. He'll tell you that you look exactly like Alex. You act the same. You have to trust me on this, Xander."

Xander sat in silence for a while before saying, "I'm hungry."

He got up and went into the kitchen. Spike sighed and followed him. "It also explains why you don't mind me around."

Xander put his food in the microwave. "Hello, constant arguments mean anything to you?"

He began to pour some orange juice into a glass. Spike sighed and put his hand on Xander's. Xander froze. Spike trailed his fingers up Xander's arm and then caressed his cheek. "It explains why you're both so beautiful."

He leant in to kiss him...the microwave bleeped. Xander pulled away quickly and went to it. Spike shook his head. He really hadn't wanted it to come to this. He got a small packet out of his pocket and got a tablet from it. He slipped it into Xander's drink while he was preparing his food. It fizzed with evil intent.

If Xander wouldn't run away with him, Spike would take him away.

Xander took the drink and his meal and went into the living room with it. He sat down and watched the television. He started eating his food, occasionally sipping his drink. Spike watched him. And he waited.

After Xander had finished his food and drink, he stood up to put his stuff in the kitchen and dropped it on the floor. "Oops!" He realised he was feeling dizzy and light-headed.

Spike smiled and went to stand behind him. He wrapped his arms around Xander's waist and said, "You made a mess, luv."

Xander leaned back on him so he didn't fall over. "Mmm. Spike you feel good."

"Thanks pet. I can make you feel good." Spike tried to get Xander as relaxed as possible, gently rubbing his shoulders.

"Sounds nice."

Spike sighed. "Later though, after I've taken you somewhere."

"Want Spike now," Xander said as he nuzzled Spike's neck.

"No. Come on," he said as he lifted Xander. He carried him out of the apartment without anybody noticing and put him in his car that he had recently parked nearby for good measure. He smiled as Xander curled up on the back seat and fell asleep. He would probably be mad at him later for the whole drugging him thing, but for now he had his AleXander safe and with him.

"Yes," Giles said down the phone, "Spike has kidnapped Xander. We just want to know if you have seen...yes. Cordelia, could you tell Angel what happened?"

He put the receiver down and looked at the worried faces sitting round the table in the Magic Box. They had only worked out that morning that Xander was indeed, missing, and Spike's disappearance at the same time was just begging for the obvious explanation.

"Now why would Spike take Xander?" Willow said confused. After all, the gang still thought Spike was in love with Buffy.

On cue, the phone rang. Giles sighed and went over to it. "Hello Magic Box...Angel! Why do you...well I suppose...do you believe that? Well if you've seen him...but it is still out of Xander's nature...I guess he could have, yes. Thank you. Thank you. Bye." Giles put the phone down.

"What did Angel say?" Buffy asked.

"You might want to sit comfortably. This is going to be a long story."

When Xander came round, he was sleepy and hungry. He couldn't think more than that, it was as if his brain had been mushed. He stretched out on the bed and wondered whether to get up or not. Then he noticed the ceiling. It was not his ceiling. That meant he was not at home. He remained stretched out lazily until a voice said, "if you don't stop laying there like that, I'm going to have to get over there and start licking you all over. You look completely edible all stretched out and relaxed."

Xander immediately curled up and turned to face Spike. "Where am I?"

"Angel's big mansioney hotel thing in LA. I thought I could hide out here."

"Hide out?"

"I've kidnapped you," Spike said matter-of-factly, "Your friends might be mad at me."

"Last time you kidnapped me you knocked me out and threatened to kill me."

Spike sighed with regret as he remembered that incident. "First off, I would never have killed you. And secondly, I only hit you because I was drunk beyond belief and I was trying to fool myself into thinking you weren't my Alex. I almost turned into Peaches, brooding about hitting you."

"Oh. What about this time?"

"I'm gonna try to convince you to stay with me. I love you."

Xander sat up. "What if I say no?"

"Then I'll let you go back to your friends."

"You will?" Xander asked doubtfully.

"Yeah. Then I'll get drunk and stake myself."

Xander stared at him for a few moments. "Why?"

"Because the chip means I can't hurt you, let alone torture and kill you. But to be honest I don't think I could even without the chip."

"Oh, um...good."

Spike smiled. "You alright? You ain't got a headache or anything?"

"No, not really. I'm just very drowsy," Xander yawned.

Spike walked over to him and put a cold hand on his head. "You don't have a temperature."

"Great. Why are you acting like this? I'm not sick."

Spike laughed nervously. "Hmm. Well, I was just wondering if the drugs had any side-effects."

"Drugs? I don't do drugs!"

"No, but it was the only way I could think of to get you out of Sunnydale."

"You drugged me? D'uh, of course you did! Bastard!"

Spike winced at Xander's tone of voice. "It was all I could think of, pet."

"I didn't do or say anything embarrassing, did I?" Please don't say I did.

"You did say you wanted me, but you were bloody high at the time, so it's not really reliable."

"Oh my God. Just...hang on a second, Angel knows about this?"

"What you saying you wanted me, or that I've kidnapped you?"

"The second one. And the first, actually."

"No he doesn't know what you've said, and yes he knows I've kidnapped you."

"Then why is he letting you stay here?"

"He knows I'm not going to hurt you and any way, I think he feels a bit guilty about killing you in a past life."

"I am not your Alex. Even if we did get together you wouldn't want me, you'd want my dead look-a-like."

Spike shook his head. "That is not true. You remind me so much of Alex, but you also have things that are unique to you as Xander."

"Like what?"

"Like your confidence and bravery. Alex wouldn't say boo to a goose."

"Oh. But you still look at me like it's a miracle I'm alive. You still think I'm the lad who died God knows how many years ago."

"I am amazed that you're here. I'd given up hope of ever seeing you again."

"Stop it! I am Xander! I am not Alex!"

"You're AleXander." Spike said, trying to convey his love for who Xander is and had been in one simple sentence.

Xander froze. "What?"

"You're Xander and Alex. I love everything about _you_."

Xander sighed. "Okay. If I was to stay, what would happen?"

"Sex."

"Other than sex."

"Cuddles."

"I meant non-physical, or something. You know, where would we get money, what would we tell my friends, how would we..."

"You are my Alex. He was always the practical-minded one. I tended to be the dreamer of us. Don't you remember?"

"ALEX IS DEAD!"

Spike didn't even pause. "No he's not. He lives on in you Xander. Please believe me."

Xander sighed. "I've lost haven't I?"

"Do you love me?"

"What? I don't even..."

"Do you think you could possibly love me?"

"Yes." Xander realised that answer was a little definite and turned it into "maybe."

Spike smiled. "Then stay with me. Just for a while. I'll prove myself to you."

Xander lay back down again. "I'm just not sure about this."

"Can I hold you AleXander?"

"What?" Xander was a bit shocked at the request. He thought things like hugs and stuff would just happen of their own accord, he didn't expect Spike to be so direct.

"Can I hold you?"

"Spike, I don't know if..."

"Please. It's been so long. I just...never mind."

Xander relented at Spike's melancholy tone. "Okay."

Spike looked up surprised. "Really?"

"Yeah."

Spike sat down on the bed and pulled AleXander to him. Xander suddenly had a warm feeling deep inside when Spike held him so gently and lovingly. Spike wrapped his arms around AleXander firmly but carefully. Xander found himself relaxing into Spike's body. Spike laid his head on top of AleXander's and breathed in the familiar scent of his past and present love. Xander closed his eyes and felt safe and protected in Spike's strong arms. He didn't know where the sensation came from, but he let it envelope him and he drifted off to sleep in the arms of his protector. Spike carefully leaned them both back on the bed and kissed his precious AleXander gently on the head before going to sleep himself.

Angel peeked through the crack in the door and smiled. He wanted his Childe to be happy.

Buffy paced the Magic Box. "I'm sorry, but I'm just not buying this. What you're trying to say is that Spike has kidnapped Xander because he was in love with him in a past life. Do you know how much sense you're not making? We all know he's in love with me!"

Giles sighed. "Buffy, it's all true. I must have woken his dormant love for Xander when I asked him about his past life. Even Angel confirms the story." Giles was tired of Buffy thinking she knew everything.

"Well I'm not going to settle for that," said Willow standing up. "Xander is not attracted to Spike whatsoever, anyone can see that. He is being held against his will and as his best friend, I'm gonna save him."

Giles shook his head. "You must give Spike a chance. Angel is there to make sure Xander doesn't get hurt..."

"So they're in LA," Riley realised. He was much smarter than he looked and acted and generally seemed.

Giles sighed. "Listen to me."

"No," Buffy said. "We will not listen to you. Spike is a vampire and vampires can't love. He is evil and whether you join us or not, we are going to save Xander."

Tara cleared her throat. "Why don't you phone them and ask to speak to Xander? That way you can ask him if..."

"Don't you agree with me?" Willow said to Tara sadly.

Tara hurried to say, "It's not that, I just think..."

"I thought you liked Xander."

"I do! That's why I'm saying..."

"Well Tara, I'm sorry, but we are going to save Xander. Are you coming with us honey?"

Tara sighed and gave Giles an apologetic look before nodding and saying, "sure. I'll go with you."

Willow smiled. Buffy turned to Giles. "You coming?"

"I might catch up with you later. I have to sort out the shop before I can just run out of town."

Buffy shook her head. "Always the responsible one. Come on guys, let's go."

They all walked out of the Magic Box discussing the way they could travel and their plan of action once they were in LA. Once Giles was sure they were at a distance, he hurried over to the phone and dialled Angel's number. "Hello, Angel? I need to speak to Xander urgently." Giles knew that the gang hadn't been the best of friends to Xander lately, and he was damned if he was about to let them ruin Xander's chances of happiness.

There was a tap on the bedroom door. Spike yawned and said, "Come in."

Angel opened the door and said, "Is Xander awake?"

Xander stretched and said, "I think so, what's up?"

"Giles is on the phone for you. He says it's an emergency."

Spike glared at Angel. "They know we're here? Well that's just fine and dandy, ain't it?"

Angel sighed. "The gang worked it out and are on their way here. Giles however, is on our side."

Xander sat up and yawned. "Okay."

He got up and took the phone from Angel and stepped outside. Angel raised his eyebrows at Spike. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Anything really. I haven't exactly spoken to you, you've been...pre-occupied."

Spike shrugged. "You would be too."

"I guess." Angel sat at the end of the bed. "Childe, you can talk to me, you know."

That was all the permission Spike needed; he needed so desperately to spill his feelings and emotions to someone. He didn't want to trouble Xander with them, as the boy was under enough pressure as it was. "What if they take him away from me Sire? I don't think I could take it if I lost him again."

"They can't take him away." Angel said it calmly, not knowing any other way to say it. He knew he was lying. Spike knew too.

"They can! They can tell him that it's unnatural and I'm not good enough or he's not good enough, or that I could never love him because I'm a vampire and..."

"He likes you Spike, I know he does. And like isn't that far from love. Trust me, everything will be alright."

"How do you know he likes me?"

"Remember when you attacked the school when you first came to Sunnydale and I offered you his neck?"

"Yeah, that really threw me off balance, seeing my Alex. I almost didn't realise you weren't Angelus."

"Sorry, but I had to stop you somehow. Anyway, his heart beat, like, twice the speed."

"He was probably scared."

"What sort of vampire can't tell fear from lust?"

Spike nodded. "I guess you're right. But I still can't protect him, what if..." his voice grew quiet, "what if they hurt him?"

Angel looked down for a minute. He knew this would come up at some point. His cruelty to Alex and his own Childe was one of many things he regretted from his time as Angelus. Spike blamed himself for Alex's death, thinking it was his inability to protect his love that had caused it, when in fact it was Angelus' inability to control his rage and jealousy. "I'll protect you both."

Spike looked up at him hopefully. "Really?"

"Really. I'm afraid I still wouldn't trust you without your chip, so I'm not going to remove it for you, so instead I will protect you both." Angel ran a hand through Spike's hair. "You are my favourite Childe, you know that?"

"I remember you told me once." Angelus had not always been brutal and cruel to everyone.

"Well I meant it."

"It's hardly a compliment, is it?"

Angel smiled. "I guess not."

Xander walked in with a worried look on his face. "They're coming down here and I don't know what to do!" He had no idea of whether he wanted to stay with Spike and give him a chance or go back to his closest friends.

Spike sighed and walked over to the distressed boy. "Ssh now," he said, putting his arms round Xander, "we'll work it out."

"But they're on their way here!" Xander stuck to what he knew for certain.

"Angel said he'd look after us. We'll be okay."

"But..."

"It'll be okay, trust me."

Xander sighed when everything in him said to trust Spike. He wanted to trust Spike, and he now knew that it came from a time when he had trusted Spike completely with his life and heart. But he couldn't help feeling worried about the impending arrival of his friends. If they even were his friends. He had a nagging feeling that they would not accept it if he would not return with them, and Xander himself had no idea of what he wanted to do. Xander knew he wanted to be with Spike, but he also wanted to go back to Sunnydale with his friends. Almost as if Spike knew what Xander was thinking, he said, "There's nothing there for you, you know. I love you."

Angel subtly slipped out of the room to give Spike and Xander some privacy. Xander leant into Spike's strong arms and let himself be looked after for a while. In his past relationships, he had always been the one doing the caring and doing the macho guy thing. It was nice to be held for once. "I don't know what to do Spike, tell me what to do."

"I can't decide for you pet," said Spike, releasing his hold on AleXander, "it's your choice. You can stay with me and be loved, adored and worshipped, or you can go back to your self-absorbed friends who wouldn't even notice if you topped yourself."

Xander jumped to the defence of his friends, even though they didn't really deserve it. "Then how come they're coming down here to save me?"

"They've been looking for an excuse to stake me for years."

"They don't need an excuse, they do what they want."

"Exactly. How often do they make sure you're getting on okay?" Spike tried to get his AleXander to see how worthless his so-called friends were.

"They have done before," said Xander quietly, already with the realisation that this argument was as good as lost.

"Do they make sure you aren't having any problems?"

"That's pretty much rephrasing your last question."

"Okay then, have they ever given you doubtless evidence that they care?"

Xander looked at the floor. "No, never. They always look out for themselves."

"See?"

Xander nodded, still not facing Spike, but Spike saw the tear fall to the floor and cursed himself for making his AleXander cry. He wrapped his arms around him again. "It's alright, ssh. I'm here to look after you, don't be sad, I'll never treat you the way they did. I love you."

Xander nuzzled into Spike again and yawned. "I can't believe I'm still tired after that midday nap."

"Have another lay down on the bed."

Xander sighed. "I'll fall asleep though, I want to be ready when the guys get here."

"I'll watch over you, AleXander. I'll wake you up when you want."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"That is really sweet. Are you sure the chip isn't malfunctioning?"

"Absolutely positive. Almost." Spike grinned. "Now are you going to rest or am I going to have to sling you over my shoulder and drag you to bed?"

Xander laughed and pretended to consider it. "Hmm, I don't know...Aah!"

Spike did as promised, and dropped Xander onto the bed. Then he pounced on Xander and serious groping commenced. Xander forgot all about being tired. They were both decidedly hot and bothered when there came a knock on the door. "Go away," said Spike before nibbling on Xander's neck.

"Spike, it could be...mmm...it could be someone important like...yeah...just get the door."

Spike growled as a warning to whoever was on the other side of the door and flung it open. It was Buffy. She strode into the room angrily as if she owned the place and stopped when she saw Xander. His shirt was undone and so were his pants. "I'm going to assume you had no say in this little piece of...action. We can blame it all on Spike. Come on, let's head back. That is," she said turning to Spike, "if you have nothing to say on the matter." She said it in a derogatory manner, speaking as though she was the teacher and he was the misbehaved troublemaker who was getting expelled. She knew she was in charge and there was nothing Spike could do if she made a choice against him.

Spike snarled at her. "I do in fact." He wasn't about to let this slut take away his AleXander, not after all he'd done to get him back. He wasn't going to lose his love again, even if it meant being staked in the process. AleXander could always avenge his death.

"Oh please, it isn't as if you could actually hurt me with that chip in your head." She got out a stake. "Me on the other hand..." she moved as if to throw it.

Angel barrelled into the side of her and they both fell to the floor. Angel grabbed the hand in which Buffy held the stake and twisted it around her back. "You cannot come into my town, my damn house, and start killing my guests."

Buffy pulled herself out of the arm lock and said "Spike's already dead!"

"No worse than you'll be if you mess with anyone round here again," said Angel as he pinned her to the wall.

"Why are you defending them?" Buffy asked, completely clueless as to why her ex was fighting so fiercely against her for the sole benefit of a useless guy and a homicidal vampire.

"I'm just doing what I should have done a lifetime ago," said Angel as he threw her to the floor.

Buffy stood up and spat blood out onto the floor. "What, better late than never?"

"I hope so. Now get out of my home."

Buffy stared at him for a few minutes then decided it might in fact be in her best interests to leave. She turned to him to make a final point. "You just wait until Willow uses her magic."

"I've already escorted Willow and Tara, along with your boyfriend, out. They're waiting for you."

Buffy scowled at Angel. "I don't understand you."

"You never did. Please leave."

Buffy looked at Xander questioningly. "Well?"

"Well what?" He knew the question, but he couldn't help stalling. But Xander knew he wouldn't have enough time to formulate an answer, even if she waited till hell froze over.

"Are you gonna stay here with these freaks or come back home with us? It's your choice."

Xander paused. He knew that this decision was to be the most important of his life. Should he go back with his friends and live a life of errands and crappy jobs, or risk his security for an evil vampire who seemed to have stolen his heart overnight? Although knowing Spike, he'd probably sold it by now. Xander knew that if he stayed now, his friends would never take him back when...if...things went wrong. He looked up, and his decision was made for him as soon as he saw the look in Spike's eyes. He looked as though he was about to cry or die. He looked scared. Xander looked at Buffy defiantly. "I'm staying. I can, um, stay in contact with you guys..."

"Don't bother," Buffy said as she stormed out.

Then Tara poked her head through the door. "Me and Willow would like to hear how you're getting on from time to time. Bye!"

Then she was gone. Xander shrugged. "That was easier than I expected." He thought that someone was going to sustain a major injury.

Angel was staring at the wall. "Was that military guy I met before _really _Buffy's boyfriend?"

"I'm afraid so."

"If her choice in men is that bad, what does that make me?" Angel said in horror.

"A fluke," Spike said smiling. "Anyway, you'd best be getting back to your man. What's his name?"

"Gunn."

"What's all this?" Xander said curiously.

Spike grinned. "I was talking to him before. Apparently, soul-boy has a decent boyfriend. Charles Gunn, a demon hunter who used to live on the streets and fought vampires."

"Cool. Hang on a second," Xander said frowning in confusion, "isn't he a bit put off then by the fact that you're a vampire? And what about your curse?"

"He doesn't mind me because I'm a good vampire. And as for the curse, well, the Oracles sorted that out for me. Have fun kids," he said as he started to leave the room, "and AleXander?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

Xander smiled to let Angel know he was completely forgiven for some more crimes he was taking the blame for. "That's okay."

Angel left and then Xander looked over at Spike, who looked back. Spike walked over to him and kissed him slowly and deeply.

And Spike and AleXander were as one once again.


End file.
